I'm Typing This A Minute Before I Turn 20

The most interesting thoughts come to you when you're lying down on your bed trying your best to fall asleep. You lie there looking up at your ceiling, or to your sides. Your eyelids feel heavy, and yet you're somehow still wide awake. Random thoughts flow through your mind. They come first as distinct ideas, each with their own vivid colors and details. As time goes on, and you drift a little deeper into sleep, slipping bit by bit from consciousness to unconsciousness, these distinct ideas start merging, flowing into each other, melding, mixing, mashing into a surreal juxtaposition of warped reality, where your senses are heightened to a new level. There is an uncanny clarity in the details going through your mind. And yet, somehow, everything is dulled at the same time, veiled by a thin, intangible curtain of smoke, out of reach. Ever so near, yet impossibly far. These transient moments are when the most beautiful thoughts rise to the surface, pressing against it, but not passing through. Just there and barely out of reach. Emotions are displayed in stark vivid color behind a translucent grey gradient. Soon, you'll finally drift into deep sleep and everything is swallowed up permanently. Lost in the deep abyss of the infinite mind, where they may or may not be discovered and experienced again. Hours later, you wake up to the rays of the sun streaming through the blinds. You wake up to a new day where the humdrum begins again. And the wonderful thoughts and emotions and dreams left behind on the pillow and under the covers, where hopefully you'll remember them and then have the courage to gather them and harness them. Maybe then you'll be on your way to a new, imperfect perfect life. Happy birthday to me.